End-ing

Lubaina gave up and I gave in, and so I lay this place into an internet-ey grave.

But, more on that later.

Friends and not-friends, we've come a long way and there are a lot of places we can look at last year from.

\We're a fifth of the way through.

\\We're past first year.

\\\We're no longer the junior batch so we can rag people now. Yayy!!!

I prefer to think of it as a learning experience, much like this little venture.

See, we know we learned something when the way we used to see the world no longer holds true. That happens almost everyday when you're a med-school student, especially a mediocre one who believes that the next PBL would actually have more than 2 hours of preparation behind it but then you learn that you can barely put a single hour there despite the gallon of coffee burning your nerves off and boom! New worldview.

I still remember how the prof prep went. I thought I could get some sleep the day before the actual test but my night was haunted by flashes from the entire year.

I remembered the days of the great decline, the era of the lakeside and the rise and fall of Age of Empires. There was the devolution from diurnal-ity and the many hours wasted battling bureaucracy. There was happiness, there was sorrow and there was so much loss.

Because, Sami left, you know. That was pretty damn sad.

But, anyways, I remember how the prep went. I spent two weeks going through all the books and all the notes (not mine) I could get my hands on and then I learned that the prof had 75% of its questions repeated. If I had just done my totes I could have done so much better. So, I go and exclusively learn totes for the next paper and I do pretty good on it.

I learned so much that day, mainly that I was barking up the wrong tree for the whole year.

The days after were laced with disillusionment. What's the point of learning anyways if marks come from another source entirely?

But, learning is not just something academical.

I learned many things that do not mean a lot to most people, but made a world of difference to me.

Life takes a lot of energy to live effectively. What that means is that if you plan to go to the gym and study for your next PBL and do your laundry and clean your room on the same day; you're fricking high. All that you're actually gonna accomplish is that you'll toss clothes off of your bed, on to your floor, go to sleep and then cram the entire PBL in 30 minutes and almost get a U.

In short, you can never do everything you plan to do.

I came here with a lot of plans, even hatched a few when I came here. I was only able to accomplish, like, a third of them. Couldn't even do them that well.

Which brings me back to the start. Why didn't this idea work?

\I could think of some reasons from the top of my head (No-one really cared about this).

\\I could go around and ask people and get some more (People were so busy the entire year and it was forgotten fairly early on).

\\\Then I could ruminate over it and get another few right there (We never put a lot of fervor into this project anyways; assuming that submissions would come by eventually was probably not the best way to do this and the idea was fundamentally flawed) so there's really no point answering that question.

But I thought it would and it didn't. That's a learning experience right there.

Just like the time Lubaina said that the only people who would post here are me and herself, so iss puri cheez ko miss karao.

Well, okay. Fine. Kara detay hain miss. It's not like I was sitting on a windfall of things to write anyways. And, it makes perfect sense

I'm looking at the post I started this with and the enthusiasm is somewhat sickening and full of naivete. I assumed to high heck but all we have to show for our sense of batch-hood is an overflow of absolute crap (aku cunfeshunz pls).

I couldn't rest without giving this place a proper burial and so here we are. I guess we don't need a publication to keep these years alive in the distant future. Facebook selfie-albums and statuses and all the posts here and on whatsapp and wherever will have to suffice.

Sigh.

A happy new year to all of you and may you never run out of the will to do stuff because god forbid we end up with more failed endeavors.